Life in La Unión

I've never really understood the Britons who live in Spain but very seldom actually visit the country. They stay at home listening to British radio, reading British papers and watching British TV surrounded by British food. I see no problem at all with keeping up with news from the UK or liking steak and kidney pudding - Britishness courses through our veins after all - but it often seems to be done at the expense of anything Spanish. These people do not have the vaguest idea about the history or geography of their new home, the culture passes them by and their knowledge of what's happening to the country is generally secondhand rumour. Even New Year is celebrated at GMT not local time. I've heard Britons talk about red letter days on the calendar. It's not something echoed by Spaniards but it makes sense. Public holidays must be printed in red on calendars I suppose. Its not unusual for my compatriots to be unaware of these holidays. They know about British bank...

One of the English exercises I use asks students to finish the sentence "If Meucci hadn't invented the phone....." It's about third conditionals I think. The idea is that the students come up with phrases such as - if Bill Gates hadn't invented Windows we wouldn't have needed four fingers to unlock an unresponsive computer. If that's not a third conditional do forgive me. Grammar isn't my strong point. Nobody, except his mum, knows who Meucci is but if I ask who invented the submarine then anyone who lives in Cartagena knows the answer. It was Isaac Peral and he was born in the city. In fact he didn't really invent the submarine but he did design the first one that had all the basic ingredients of the conventional submarines we know today. His submarine was launched in 1888. It did well in its sea tests and he was asked to build a bigger and more powerful version. Unfortunately for him some internal disputes in the Spanish Navy meant that the p...

Mucha gente me ha preguntado sobre mi estado de animo ya que estoy de Rodriguez. ¿Estás bien viviendo solo? dicen. Sí, estoy bien e, inesperadamente, ¡estoy consiguiendo alimentarme sin ninguna ayuda! Por supuesto la vida de un soltero tiene sus desventajas pero tiene ventajas también; más espacio en la cama, dominio total del mando y sin la necesidad de desplazarme de habitación en habitación apagando las luces. Llenar el tiempo es fácil -  de hecho no me queda suficiente tiempo para hacer lo que quiero hacer. Siempre he sido un escritor de listas – las cosas por hacer -  y esta lista está tan llena como siempre. Los quehaceres de la casa, un libro para leer, tele para ver y la batalla continua de dominar el español - una batalla que a Maggie le encantó recordarme, en una de nuestras conversaciones por Skype - que nunca ganaré. El curro es una rutina obvia. Día tras día tengo que repetir los mismos consejos repetidas veces. A cada uno; pues la mayoría de mis alumnos, come...

Lots of people have asked me if I'm OK living alone. I'm fine and surprisingly I'm having no problem feeding myself. Being alone has lots of disadvantages but there are advantages too. More space in the bed, complete control of the telly remote and no need to go around the house turning off uselessly burning lights. I'm having no problem at all filling my time, in fact I am short of time. I've always been a list writer and my current lists are full; household things to do, books to read, work to prepare alongside the ongoing and time consuming task of trying to crack Spanish even though, as Maggie unkindly reminded me in one of our Skype conversations, I never will. Work is an obvious routine. As well as trying to correct the same errors in all of my students over and over again - "Can you please repeat that?" rather than "Can you repeat?" or the constant battle with some sounds; shhhhe not sea, shhhhow not sew - there is the simple time rout...

As long as I can remember I've liked the radio. As a youngster I was perturbed when some programme we listened to on the radio most weeks had finished when we got home late. The idea of programmed programmes was way beyond my comprehension. Lots of programmes, from the Clitheroe Kid to the Today Programme are a part of my history. I like radio because it does not demand your attention in the same way as television. You can do the ironing to either but you can't drive or shower or clean the cooker to the TV. I also find television egocentric - about personallity - whereas radio is much more about the content. I never did take to that zoo radio style where the presenters loved the sound of their own voice much more than the music. Informative too. So much information on the radio. Spanish radio is pretty good. I'm at a bit of a disadvantage in that, at times, sections of it waft past my ears without me understanding a word especially when it's just normal people tal...

I'd just been to the flicks. Gravity, good film I thought. The cinema is in a shopping centre and the car park was mayhem - people and cars everywhere. The centre was ablaze with light. The Seventh Circle of hell but with writhing vehicles rather than contorted bodies. A Spanish chum riding in my car a while ago told me that it is a mortal sin, or at least 300€ worth of fine, not to signal whilst moving between lanes on motorways. I sniggered. Spaniards are not big on turn indicators. I picked my way through cars going in each and every direction. Going against the direction arrows in a car park is normal behaviour, moving without lights too, not signalling is as common as acne on teenage faces. I was about to move through a gap when I noticed that a supposedly parked car was rolling slowly forward. I waited and watched as the car bumped gently into a wall. The driver had been too absorbed in his wasap (that's WhatsApp to you and me) to notice till he felt the jolt. I lau...

One of my regular readers got in touch and said I should be blogging more. "There must be lots to talk about in your new neighbourhood!" she said. There isn't. I'm not doing anything so I'm not bumping into things that are noteworthy. Nonetheless, given that I have so few readers I had to try and think of something. Bananas. That was something that I thought this morning over breakfast as I tried to eat a particularly tasteless but yucky one. Bananas here are different. The Spanish word banana usually refers to a small fruit that looks like the typical "British" banana except that it's smaller. They are quite different though, a completely different texture and taste and typically they come from the Canary Islands. Plátanos are more like the typical banana that we can buy in any greengrocer or supermarket in the UK. The quality here though is very variable. Often they are very green, tough to eat and very woody in texture. Alternatively the skin ...

I don't get a lot of calls on my mobile but you can guarantee that when I do it is when I am stuffing a turkey, cleaning the lavatory or at least driving. It happened today. I was cleaning grease from under the electric hob when the phone exploded into life. It was a Madrid number which usually means someone trying to persuade me of the benefits of some wonder product. I nearly didn't bother to answer. The woman checked who I was, said she was calling from my bank and asked me if I knew anything about a payment from Iberdrola, the electricity supplier. I didn't. She mentioned a name associated with the payment which rang no bells at all. Don't worry about it then said the woman and went away. Five to ten seconds after the phone call was over I realised what it was. The landlady of my new flat, whose name I hadn't recognised, had asked about paying the electric bill directly from my bank account. She'd gone and done that and I'd just told my ban...